The Week We Became Parents

It’s funny how many stories sometimes start and end with the same thing. This story, as simple as it may sound, begins with us peering through our window that overlooks the street, and it ends there too.

I can remember our foster care teacher talking with us about our intentions one day after class:

“So, you guys want to foster babies? And, you hope to adopt someday?”

He walked us over to a wall covered with pictures of children who were in grade school, junior high, and high school all needing adoptive homes. He pointed to a little 7 year old boy who had a giant smile on his face. Our teacher said, “All of these children are available for adoption. I encourage you to adopt, because being foster parents will be the hardest thing you ever do. If you decide to foster babies, they won’t be these beautiful perfect little people. They will be broken, and hurt, and need lots of care. Adoption through foster care is a long journey and that can’t really be your goal. You have to remember in the back of your mind that they can leave at any moment. Your goal needs to be to help these children and their families, and if your journey allows for adoption then deal with that when it comes.

So, lets go rewind to two weeks ago. I get a phone call about a baby girl who is a month old, who needs a home right away. She had spent the night at the agency and from what the DCS worker told us, no one they had called was willing to take her. I said yes right away, called JJ to let him know and two hours later we were both home sitting at our dinning room table waiting to see the DCS worker’s car pull up through the window. We watched from the window as the DCS worker walked around to the other side of the car and pulled out a carseat. We welcomed the DCS worker into our home and she placed the carseat on the ground. All I remember about the next moments that went by while the DCS worker was telling us her story and having me sign a bunch of paperwork were the little eyes that kept looking up at me. All I do remember saying was, “What is her name?” The worker smiled told us her name, hugged me, thanked us for taking her and for being foster parents and she left, and there we were just staring at this little baby girl with this beautiful brown eyes looking back at us. I bent down and clicked open her seat belt and lifted this little sweet 5 pound baby girl into my arms. She was covered in what looked like dirt. She smelled. And, she was hungry.

That night was a blur of us learning how to bathe a baby, which is a more slippery task than either of us ever could have imagined! We googled how much she should be eating, and sleeping. We quickly realized that she didn’t fit into any of the baby clothes or diapers that we had. We all decided to brave a trip to target and find her some premie items. We wandered through the baby isles in search of anything that would fit her.  I was carrying her in a Solly Baby wrap, which I was almost sure I had wrapped incorrectly. I couldn’t find JJ because he was in the baby clothing area trying to find premie onesies. I walked down the diaper isle for the 3rd time carefully reading all the labels desperately trying to find even just one package of premie diapers. I remember holding a package of Huggies and bursting into tears. I felt completely overwhelmed. I had forgotten my cane and my legs were burning from walking without any support, JJ was no where to be seen, and I was already a terrible mama because I couldn’t even find the right diapers for this sweet baby. A sweet employee found me crying in the isle and helped me find the very last package of premie diapers in the entire Super Target. I will never forget that sweet lady. She might as well have worn a red cape because in that moment she was a hero to me.

In our time with that sweet little girl, who we called CC, different DCS workers told us that she would be staying for about 3 months. The nights were long and the days were super sweet. JJ loved coming home to the two of us making dinner or just sitting on the couch. CC got to meet a lot of family and many of our dear friends. It was one of the best weeks of our lives. There was just something so special about that sweet little girl. We were smitten. They say to protect your heart but it is something that is much more easily said than done.

6 days after CC came to be with us I got a phone call. They had found a “distant friend” who was willing to take her and her siblings. She would be leaving the next day. I burst into tears and quickly told the DCS worker that we could take all the siblings. We had the space. We could figure it out. She was doing so well with us. She had come so far. I can’t share all the issues we dealt with to protect her, but we had come a LONG way in just a week together. I hadn’t slept in 6 days, and I was a raw nerve to hear that sweet CC would be leaving so quickly.

JJ came home and I ran into his arms a total mess. CC just looked up at us. She had just started smiling a lot and cooing a ton to get our attention. We gave her lots of kisses. We didn’t sleep that night and just watched her sleep. We woke up early that next morning and prayed for her. We took a picture of the 3 of us and wrote her a note in the little book where we had been writing down her feeding and sleeping schedule. They don’t give you a lot of notice when they are about to come and pick up a child. They called and told us they would be there in 10 minutes.

In those last sweet minutes we sang a song we had made up for her. We gave her lots of kisses. We fed her to make sure that where ever she was going she would be full. We rocked her to sleep and watched as those beautiful little brown eyes closed. Then we stood by the same window where we had watched her pull up and watched as a different DCS worker came to take her. The DCS worker was very sweet. We got to meet CC’s older sister. She shrieked when she saw CC and couldn’t believe how different her little sister looked. The worker let us walk her to the van and kiss her goodbye. We closed the car door, and the DCS worker thanked us. JJ put his arm around my shoulders and we waved as they drove away.

We knew she wouldn’t stay forever, but we were shocked and saddened to see her leave so soon. The experience taught us so much about how the system works, what these kiddos really go through even in just the first month of life, and how to love with reckless abandon.  We are so thankful for sweet CC and for the gift she gave us by making us parents for the first time. She came to us with nothing but the clothes on her back. She left with a whole box of items to keep her safe and warm. She also left with a lot of love. A love we will never ever forget. A love that only a parent can have for a child.